A convo I was following on Facebook and the upcoming Guns n' Roses show got me thinkin' about concert merch. In the Before Time, I spent a lot of time thinking about concert merch, which is weird, but we were going to shows so often, that it was worth thinking about. It's officially been 534 days since I've attended a concert, jumping back in tonight with Primus, and we've got tickets to plenty more, so it's time to start thinking about those shirts that we're never going to wear.

Actually, not so much shirts as much as random weird shit like Blink-182 surf shorts or Foo slides that are two sizes too big. But in the heat of the moment, when you finally reach the front of the merch line, and you're all sweaty and hyped up, and you see stuff that you've never seen in the online store, there you are, swiping a credit card you swore you wouldn't max out to obtain stuff you'll never use.

Let's talk about shirts. You need the shirt with the date of your show on the back, so you buy it. And then you get home and wash it and realize it's too thick, sewn awkwardly, so square that it's nearly a crop top, weird itchy material, or just ill fitting. So it goes in the bottom of the drawer never to be seen again. The talented women who are able to cut up a shirt properly and make it look super cute are a rare breed, find one of them and never let them go.

Now that concerts are back, for the moment anyway, I wish you, from the bottom of my heart, all the coziest, best fitting t-shirts, and the ability to make good decisions at the merch booth. Oh, and for the love of Grohl, please do not be the person who gets to the front and doesn't know what they want. Don't. Do. Not.

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